


Disbelieving, that's the crime

by Nik0lai



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Half-Elf Jaskier, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Scars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27829420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nik0lai/pseuds/Nik0lai
Summary: When someone asked what was wrong with his ears for the first time, he just looked at them weird.“They’re weird, part of them are gone.” the lad lifted his finger to the edge of his ears where there was a frame for the ear all the way round, where Julian’s ear.. Skipped in certain places and he just had a smooth ear top.“I’m not quite sure.. I’ll ask mother” he replied slowly.----------------------------------Jaskier is the result of an affair. His parents were an arranged marriage and his young mother hated his father. She fell in love with an elven blacksmith and got pregnant.When Julian was born his Vicount Panktraz had the boy's ears cut round to hide it.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Disbelieving, that's the crime

**Author's Note:**

> inspired hugely by this tweet by @/IsaAfterDark https://twitter.com/IsaAfterDark/status/1333118672446107648  
> you will probably see some of the ideas there swirling around in this fic and hopefully I can bang out the series quickly, don't count too hard on it though because I am absolutely a serial procrastinator x

From childhood Julian probably knew something was wrong with him on some level. His father interacted with him as little as he could and the most physical touch he got from him was when he beat him for speaking out of line when they had guests over. His mother was with him more, but whenever his father was in the room she seemed to shrivel up into silence and subservience. It was.. Disconcerting as a child to see that he was not the only one scared of his father - in fact, everyone seemed scared of his father, always scurrying around him in silence.

And it was silence, because he was the only child in the manor. There were stable boys but they weren’t allowed to talk and if his father heard of him sneaking off to play with the common folk, he would certainly do something worse than that of his usual punishment, and so Julian grew up surrounded by silence and scared adults. His mother sometimes sang him softly to sleep as he grew and she started looking more tired, and then he was sent to the Temple of melitele to get literacy beaten into him. A different experience for sure, for one there were children there with him, and he could talk to them! 

They were all there for a wide variety of reasons, some of them had homes to go to after the initial years were over, but some had nothing to go to, were abandoned there for circumstances beyond their control but that mostly meant that for the wide variety of reasons they were abandoned here, they also had a wide variety of scars and deformities and Julian loved his first friends all the same, for his back and sides matched many there.

When his mother and old maid Hannah came to take him back to Lettenhove he cried and wailed all the way until he exhausted himself into sleep. It was probably for the best, Hannah said his father was waiting for the group at the door and when he saw him sleeping in Hannah’s arms his frown deepened and he swept away without saying anything. 

He did not see his father the first week he was back.

After the time spent at the temple he took to written word like a fish to water and happily spent most of his days in the library, where before it was just a large room with good hiding spaces, now it fed his mind and he happily his away from his aging family in whatever book he fancied for the day. After a time like this every day though, the pull of friendship and children his age to talk to drew him like a moth to a flame, and slowly over the months he started sneaking out to speak to the local children he could get to talk to him. He started with the stable boys, and they were fun enough, but he felt bad for drawing them away from their work and so searched more in the town centre.

When someone asked what was wrong with his ears for the first time, he just looked at them weird.

“My ears? What could possibly be wrong with my ears?” he asked them. The question truly stumped him, he had no clue what they were referring to.

“They’re weird, part of them are gone.” the lad lifted his finger to the edge of his ears where there was a frame for the ear all the way round, where Julian’s ear.. Skipped in certain places and he just had a smooth ear top.

“I’m not quite sure.. I’ll ask mother” he replied slowly. The new friends did not last long, alas, for one of their mothers saw small Julian in all his finery next to their child(he went for the simplest set he owned but it was still silk) paled and immediately went to his mother to profusely apologise and beg forgiveness from his confused mother. After all the excitement he forgot to ask about his ears as his mother decided he had too much free time if he was running away to play with the villagers, and hired him a tutor, which surprisingly his father was in support of, as he’ll learn about how to look after an estate and round out his knowledge from his days in the library. Julian shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was when he got the wrong answers he got a beating on his bottom, but the betrayal of trust made him lose his enthusiasm he stepped into the lessons with originally.

On his sixteenth summer, Julian finally remembered the strange question from the lad who he now gives him a poisonous glare whenever they see each other in town and made his way to his mother after dinner to pursue answers. He truly didn’t think his ears were any different growing up but looking at her hair tucked behind her ears, his ears certainly did differ, but the scar is certainly not the worst on his body and so he was happily oblivious most of his life.

“Mother?” he knocked on her door haltingly. “Mother. I have a question.”

She looked up at him from her desk and smiled softly at him “My Julian, tell me what plagues you?” 

“Do you think my ears are strange?” he asked before he lost his courage “the tops of them are missing and there’s a line of scar. Did something happen when I was young?”

His mother lost the smile quickly as the questions came and she now sat there looking uncomfortable and small in the candle light. “Julian, what-”

“I just want to know what happened. I don’t need a reason why you didn’t tell me because frankly it’s a weird set of scars, I just want to know what they’re from.”

She laughed miserably and stood to touch the scars on his ears softly. He moved his head away jerkily looking at his mother and waiting for her response with baited breath.

“My darling, you had such a rough time as a child, it was a big tumble and your ears got so hurt..”

He stood there in silence looking at his mother in shocked silence for a minute.

“What? That makes no sense! How could I have been so violent as a toddler that my ears ended off so damaged as to be cut in symmetrical curves on both ears perfectly and then completely abandon my apparent violent tendencies?” he grasped his mothers shoulders and ducked his head to stare her in her downturned eyes “Mother, surely it is only right I know the truth? It is my body and if there is something I must know-”

“Truly, you were far more active and outgoing as a young boy and your ears did end up being cut, but no matter what I love you. Goodnight Julian, darling.”

He started coming closer to the truth she was hiding two summers after when he met a witcher with blazing golden eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to this playlist whilst writing and then I took a break and got tipsy, then I came back and finished it, but it's a good playlist so here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1SvzobWTMbFR2SyZto95kF?si=ARz3k3LkSBGSr0uu6nnMJg
> 
> Also! I've decided I might be a bit pretentious and just use quotes from the songs I'm listening to as I post each chapter. Enjoy! x


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